According to Josh Klapow, of the University of Alabama at Birmingham “a relationship is doomed if the communication is not there”.” learning to make decisions together is critical for the survival of your relationship,” he adds.
“Keeping the love in a relationship is about understanding who the other partner is and working extremely hard to keep the lines of communication open,” said Josh Klapow.
Here are the few things Klapow recommends for making decisions together:
Set a specific goal
“What exactly do each of you want ? Specifying the exact is important. Make sure you are very specific. Eating dinner out is not a specific goal. Going to a restaurant where you can get a steak, your partner can get grilled something and you both can relax is specific. The more specific you are the better.”
Arrange the situation for success
“Decision making doesn’t work well when someone is tired, hungry, short for time or pre-occupied with other activities. Before you start the discussion, make sure each of you is in the right frame of mind and you have the time.”
Monitor your discussion
“As you are discussing the decision at hand, make sure you are staying on track. Often couples start discussing a goal and stray to some other topic, which can lead to frustration. So, if you notice yourself or your spouse getting off the subject, come back to the specific goal.”
Recruit support from one another
“A collective decision means that sometimes there will be compromise. If you are going into the discussion to win, then you are not making a collective decision; you are fighting a battle. “ Try to understand you need to win the WAR not the battle. It’s a TEAM WORK not Individual Army.
“Celebrate the success of a decision together. Reward, anything that acknowledges the success.”
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